Sometimes I read or see things and just cannot fathom what the person is thinking. It seems like I get that feeling more often now than I have at any other time in my life. In fact it's getting to the point that I feel like my head is going to explode because people fail to see the stupidity or hypocrisy in their words, opinions, or actions. I came across this story in an advice column that I like to read now and then. I believe it sums up a huge problem we have in society. Emotional thinking is driving our actions and opinions.
A man and woman have been together for seven years, married for five. They have a four-year-old daughter. A few months ago call mother the wife sat her husband down to inform him that she had begun transitioning from being a woman to becoming a man. She had started hormone replacement therapy and consulted with a doctor about surgical removal of her breasts. As you can imagine, the man was completely shocked. He had no idea that his wife felt this way. He was also floored that she had not discussed this with him in any way prior to beginning the medical procedures.
He expressed his displeasure at not being included or at least forewarned of a decision that would drastically change their lives as well as that of their daughter. She told him that it was not his place to be involved in the decision. She admitted that she had these feelings prior to them dating but wasn't sure she would ever act upon them. After realizing that having a child and living as a wife in a committed relationship did not resolve her emotional issues, she knew that she had to make the transition to live as a man.
The couple had several discussions about what their life would look like going forward. He asked that they wait to have the discussion with their daughter, wanting to have some agreement on what they should tell her and that both of them should be involved in that discussion. His wife ignored his request and he caught her telling their four year old daughter about the transition and in very explicit terms what would be happening.
The husband realized that he did not want to be married to someone who was living as a man. On top of the fact that she was making life changing decisions without him, this was enough to convince him he wanted a divorce. When he asked for the divorce she became angry, claiming that she was still the person he had fallen in love with. His in-laws and his parents tried to convince him that he should stay and respect her choices. They all called him transphobic and bigoted for not wanting to stay.
That is our society in a microcosm. The wife was putting her feelings above those of everyone else no matter how significantly it would affect other people's lives. The parents sided with her because they have to validate and recognize her emotional thought process. They expect him to subjugate his feelings, prioritizing her feelings and emotional well-being. His emotional well-being and that of his daughter are secondary considerations. When they do not get his agreement, they begin calling him names. None of this is a conversation giving equal respect to both parties.
And that's where we are as a society. Rather than promoting equality we are promoting certain demographic groups as being more important than others. We are promoting feelings over logic and science. Because with emotional thinking comes disorder, division, and hatred, perceived or otherwise. And that is when the authority can step in to create order and perceived stability. That is when the authority becomes tyrannical.
